For anyone out there that has attempted to BALANCE their life, things seem to get a bit more hectic as time goes on, does it not?
Balance does not exist in this day and age – not the way it was meant to anyway. Balance is defined as : “A state in which opposing tendencies are equal.” and “Satisfying arrangement marked by even distribution of elements, as in a design.”
What this means in the life of a Mommy (or anyone else with more than one thing to do!), is that balance is achieved when you get everything done that is on your To Do list! Yet, for many of us, our To Do list items tend to roll over like AT&T unused cell phone minutes! We have compartmentalized everything we are and do. Wake up and get dressed, wake up the kids, get kids dressed and fed, make coffee, start laundry, make calls, check emails, clean up kids and play (or teach, or take to school), do dishes, blog, work on business, lunch, naps for kids, work some more, what’s for dinner?, pay bills, make more calls, special projects, who’s birthday did I miss?, wake up kids, grocery shopping (and any other errand) – I’m too tired to continue, but I’m sure you get the point!
When you get to the end of the day, how many things did you miss? How many things got transferred to tomorrow?
If you’re a mom that works outside the home, there are different challenges to your schedule, but the end of the day looks the same. We beat ourselves up trying to “do it all” and do it all everyday.
If you notice, that list didn’t include any down time – no Calgon bath, no workout, no meditation, no personal development (like reading or writing in a journal).
It seems we have put all of our To Do’s and Projects outside ourselves. We have made them “things” to do, and not A Way To Live and Bring Happiness and Peace to those in our lives (and in our world). Besides that, we have put ourselves last (or not even on the list!).
This is the age of INTEGRATION. If we are to BE the women, wives, mothers, and people we are here to be, then we must let go of our old ways of doing things. Personally, the way I was taught to achieve Balance, was that certain things had to be given up if I was to accomplish a goal. No longer! We have been integrating medicine for years – natures ancient wisdom with modern technologies. Now it’s time to focus on our OWN ancient wisdom. Our Spirit knows what it’s here to do, yet we muddle it down with disconnection. We DO instead of BE. Think about it – we are supposed to be humans being, yet we live as humans doing.
So what does it mean to integrate our Being with our Doing? Mindfulness has been the most important lesson for me, I think. Be in the here and now, with whatever you’re doing. Stop thinking about what you didn’t do or do well, or what you still have to do later! Focus on what you are doing right now, and do it. BE it.
With the birth of my first daughter, I searched for a way to balance my day and my life. I was so tired (as new mommies are), and wanted to still be able to clean the house and all that stuff. Not only could I not find the energy, I had no idea what I was doing or where to start! One day, I stumbled onto a website called The Flylady. BLESS HER! Bless her system for getting stuff done – “You can do anything for 15 minutes” she says.
Long story short, she has you do what is called a Home Blessing Hour once a week. The word “Blessing” made me think: We tend to forget what or whom we are doing things for. Take for example housework. Instead of saying to yourself that you have to do dishes or laundry, think about who that is for. How it benefits the people in your life to have a nice place to live or clean clothes to wear. It’s a way to LOVE your family. Keeping your house clean allows so many wonderful things to happen! You have a nice place to live, you can entertain guests without notice, your kids have respect for you and learn to respect their things.
This thoughtfulness applies to business as well. That is why it is SO important to be involved with people and business that align with your core values. I understand that you sometimes have to “work” to make money. But understand that what you DO deserves the attention and intention of who you ARE. Allow yourself to BE yourself with whatever you do, and whoever you meet. The Universe will give you more of what you put out there and focus on, so make sure you’re going in the direction you want.
Thoughts are things! Put out to the Universe that you hate your job, and you may not have it much longer! The Universe just gave you what you asked for….think about it. So, if you need to work somewhere for the money, appreciate what you’ve got, and keep moving toward what you want. That money you’re making may just help you get there, and the connections and friendships you make can become the most incredible resources for the future (and if you’re starting a business and need customers or partners….that’s right!).
INTEGRATION of your Spirit into everything on your To Do list, makes for a much more enjoyable and fulfilling time! Even if you don’t get it all done, everything was still done with love and peace in mind. Putting music on helps too! My kids and I dance and sing while doing dishes. Well, I do the dishes, but they help! At 2.5 and 1 year old, they are growing up learning that “chores” do not exist, only Blessings. I read somewhere that someone wrote their to do list and called it “My Parade of Daily Adventures”. LOVE IT!
How can you INTEGRATE today?
